Ariellie

howdoiputthisgently:

Is it me or do you sometimes get a bit jealous when you see that the person you used to casually hook up with on and off for a while has found someone new? Anyone? I don’t know if I want to feel happy or pissed off at myself that I let it go the way it did. Would I feel better if we were still doing our thing or would I feel the same as I do now?It’s a weird feeling to be honest.
I know deep down in some part of my brain I shouldn’t be jealous that he’s got someone and that he’s doing his own thing. However, in the back of my head I wonder if we were ever going to head down that path. Not that I had any wishes or expectations that we were going to be together like that one day, but it still just makes me think about our relationships and how things might have been. If I could go back and do it over, would I handle things differently or would I let things progress the way that they did? I don’t honestly have an answer but small part of me misses the comfort and familiarity of being with him. And the other-the more rational and logical part of me is happy that he’s obviously moved smoothly into the next phase of his life.
Relationships and feelings are complicated. I wish mine could sort themselves out like an outline so I could figure out what category to put things under.
However I do know this: I am not pining over or for him. I did that for one person and it was hell. He was a part of some fun times that make for interesting memories and stories.
I just felt the need to finally put my wandering thoughts into some logical/illogical form of ramblings